Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize