i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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