so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
