I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
