i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
