I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
