Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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