just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
