Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
