you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
