Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
