so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
