My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
