and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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