We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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