I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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