Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Randomize
