can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
