idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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