I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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