yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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