Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
