school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
foreskin is a definite game changer
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
