That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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