My hair reeks of homosexuality.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Randomize
