the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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