why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
