Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We talked him into tasing himself.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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