I swear she didn't look like that last week.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Randomize
