My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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