I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
