It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
