gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
North Korea, Best Korea!
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
