i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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