White coat. Heels.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize