I got chris browned last night
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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