sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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