Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize