i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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