just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
