Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
