This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
