R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
