It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
