I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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