No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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