I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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