woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
