ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Ladies don't puke and tell
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
