okay pat passed out under dana's car
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
