i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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