Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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