I'm so fucking centered right now
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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