No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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