And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
