Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
