i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
