is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
