Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
